Mediocrity or Legacy - what's it going to be?

6 Oct: It's after 11pm and I can't get to sleep, my mind is racing with thoughts; with voices that won't quieten down, each demanding to be heard. Golly it's crowded in here. And as is often the case with crowds they're unruly and all shouting the odds, each pushing or pulling in different directions.

A few hours earlier I had the privilege of hearing from a modern day living legend, Alexander Harris and it's his talk to us CHOC Cows that has got the crowd in my head excited.

View from The Highest Point in the world

Alex is an extremely interesting guy.  He's a regular oke from Jozi who has summited the seven highest peaks on seven continents (this includes Everest); teamed up with Sibusiso Vilane to become the first South Africans to ski to the South Pole (unsupported); and broke the record on the 2011 Freedom Challenge (a 2350km mountain bike route across South Africa, from Pietermaritzburg in the east to Paarl in the west, doing this in 12 days, (as a CHOC Cow).  His achievements against the odds are incredible. He is certainly wired differently from most people I've met.

His talk is good, motivational and inspiring. It's helpful, but in that unsettling way, as it makes me to some do some reflecting on my own life. And the questions start:

Am I living a life of mediocrity or one that builds a legacy? 

What am I doing to make a difference or am I just a dead fish that goes with the flow?

What is my big dream?

Will my failures drown out my potential? Can I rise above them?

Just the kind of stuff you want to hear as you're trying to go to sleep (sarcastic font).

Part of his talk is about knowing when to push (go forward) or when to pull (to hold back).  And  this is an ongoing struggle I'm having, it's comforting to hear that someone as fit and determined and accomplished as him also has to find the balance.

Having bailed out of two races I've battled with the sense of failure that comes with that. At the time I tried to keep the big picture in mind, but it wasn't enough.  Alex emphasised the importance of identifying the small things that consistently done will enable us to reach our goals. What do you need to do right now? On thinking it over I see it's an area I've not worked on before. In the moments when I'm about to quit I haven't been able to set small achievable goals which I can do. I once heard a definition of perseverance : "a long persistence in the same direction" which I think is quite apt here.

 

I've also been chewing over his comment just after take off when returning from the South Pole "Looking out the window I looked to see our tracks etched in the snow. They were gone. I looked to see the mounds of snow where we'd camped. They were gone. There was no proof we'd even been there. We'd make no mark on the land, but the land made a mark on us".  Wow, what a leveller. Here you've endured 65 days of hard work, strong winds, incredible cold and pushed yourself beyond anything you ever thought you could do. The wind blows, the snow falls and there is no trace of what you've done.  But there is. It's just internal - you know you are changed forever by achieving something you set out to do.  

This could be quite depressing but I find it strangely comforting.  It says to me Go out and do it anyway.  No one else will ever be able to fully comprehend the enormity of what you're setting out to do; the personal obstacles you will have to overcome.  You have to  break the limits you and others put on yourself.  And you do it for yourself

Also he spoke of reward and recognition - realistically only you can really reward or praise yourself and you really must do it! You need to celebrate and congratulate yourself. Others are not going to do it.  Interesting thought. I think this will make us much happier actually. It also reduces the expectation and subsequent disappointment when the people around us don't go ra ra and congratulate us.  I guess it also asks the question ... "who are you doing it for?" If it's supposed to be for yourself, then logically you only have yourself to please.

 

The talk also shows me something I haven't seen before. I see something I didn't realise I'd lost. I've lost the one person who I used to dream big with and who'd push us towards those goals. Now I must find out if I have that quality within me. I've never really had to fight for anything. Or if I have, I've most likely given up and let it go when the going got tough. A hard thing to admit. So now the question is can I found a new dreamweaver to dream with or do I have to do it alone - and is that possible. For some I'm sure it is a resounding yes - but for me? Am I like that or can I become like that?

It took 15 years to achieve his goal of climbing Everest. There must have been a few failures, set backs, disappointments, adjustments along the way.  Now that's perseverance. Seems to me the journey to our achievements is just as important as the achievement itself. Maybe it's even more important.

2 Cows : Rob & Alex

And the crowd continues: So how am I going to make use of all this?  What am I going to be begin to do? What am I going to do differently? What am I going to stop doing?  Will tomorrow be a day of mediocrity or will I do something that builds towards a legacy? And the day after? Can I apply a logical, analytical approach to solving the problems and challenges I'm currently facing and identify ways to overcome them? Will I be able to do this day after day? Will this result in a complete change or will I get soft, lazy and mediocre after a few days of effort?

Aiyaiyai

It's no wonder I can't sleep.